Instead of What We Can Lose This Year, What Can We Gain?

Often, especially around the New Year, people make goals for the upcoming year, to lose weight and get into better shape. While wanting to live a healthy lifestyle is good and well, all too often, these goals of changing ones outward appearance are tied to inward happiness and satisfaction. People think that once they weigh less, fit into a smaller size, or can lift more at the gym, then they will finally like themselves. Then they will finally be happy.


The problem with this sort of goal is that unfortunately, you will always be disappointed. Even if you manage to become healthier and get to a shape you think you should be, it will never bring happiness. It will still be the same you, the same person who was not necessarily happy before, simply trapped inside a smaller body. Losing weight will never make you a different person. You will not be more confident, more assertive, more successful, or happier. If you were insecure before, you will simply be a smaller, more in shape, insecure person. If you were depressed before, no amount of outward healthy living will make you happier and more fulfilled. 

I think one thing this problem stems from is the fact that in our society and media, happiness is extremely tied with physical appearance. We are made to believe that if we simply lose xx pounds, wear more expensive makeup, get rid of our wrinkles, or spend more hours in the gym, suddenly we will be happy, well liked, and successful. Our society has made millions upon millions of dollars making people like you and me believe this idea. Unfortunately however, it is one of the biggest lies we will ever be made to believe.

You have inside of you the power to be tremendously happy and fulfilled, right now, but nothing physical will ever get you there. It will take a lot of work, but you can become comfortable with yourself exactly as you are in this moment. healthy or not. thin or not. muscled or not. You do not need to lose weight to love yourself. All you have to do is learn that you are perfectly wonderful and competent exactly as you are, right here right now. Exactly as you are, you are deserving of your own and other people's love, affection, attention, and respect. Once you believe this, whole new worlds of opportunities, experiences, and happiness will open up to you, and you will feel deserving of every wonderful thing that life throws your way, and that you work hard to bring into your life. 

So this New Years, lets not make our resolutions about how many pounds we want to drop, how many servings of vegetables we think we should have day, or how many hours we will need to spend in the gym to burn off our self hatred. Instead, lets resolve to spend more time meditating, writing, drawing, or doing whatever makes you feel connected to yourself.  Lets spend more time with the people we love and who love us, for exactly who we are. Lets spend more time doing things that make us feel happy, passionate, and fulfilled. This year, instead of focusing on what we have to lose, lets focus on all the things we can gain, like confidence, compassion, and excitement for our lives. Because all of us have so much to live for, and so much to be happy about. If we spend our time focusing on outward appearances, we will never be able to see that. This year, Lets turn our gazes inward, and make 2015 the best year, and the year you become the best, and happiest you that you can possibly be.

Thanks for reading!

New Years Resolutions

I know I am a few days late, but the beginning of the new year is an excellent opportunity to reflect and create goals for yourself on how you would like the next year to unfold. Goals or resolutions can be a powerful tool to motivate a person to enact change and improve their life, and stick with it. While often times New Years resolutions seem to dwindle off a few weeks into the new year, writing them down and showing them to other people can help hold you accountable and motivated to stick with them. 
Here are some of my resolutions and goals for 2015:

1. This year, I want to allow myself to be truly happy, without excuse or reason. Just because I am. 
2. I also want to let myself by sad, and allow myself to feel it instead of suppressing or pushing it away
3. I want this to be there year where I make real, huge, positive gains in my recovery. Im talking 6 months to a whole year without purging, weighing myself, or consciously hurting myself in any way. This will be the year recovery gets real and true for me. 
4. I want to begin to really love my body this year. I know it might be unrealistic to think I can truly love my body in a years time, but I want to try, and I want to get as close as I can.
5. I want to write every single day.
6. I want to help people every day in any small way I can.
7. I want to stop this year from judging people for things that I wouldn't want to be judged for. Unfounded gossip or judgment is never good, and is only painful and harmful to all involved, and I want to love people for their flaws, rather than judge them on them.  
8. I want to exercise because it feels good, and I want to treat my body well. Not to lose weight, or as punishment for eating or treating myself.
9. I want to learn to communicate what I truly want and need, and learn to say no, instead of putting up with things I might not want just to make other people happy.
10. I want to put myself first this year, and to treat my mind, body, and soul, with the love and respect they deserve. 

What are your New Years Resolutions lovelies?