Fighting Harder on the Bad Days

Some days, I wake up and I feel great. I feel alright about my body, reasonably confident and competent, and willing to take on the day. Other days however, are not so good. Some times I wake up and I feel like crap about myself and my body, and can hardly force myself to get out of bed.

The good days are great. They are happy, free, and full of life. These are the days that someone in recovery lives for, the ones that show us that the work we are doing is actually worth it and paying off. These are the days that we remind ourselves of on the bad days, to help us get through. The bad days feel like the days that you just need to buckle down and get through. You just put your head down and wait until another good day comes along.

While the good days are great, they are not the days that really matter, or define your recovery. When you are in recovery, the most important days unfortunately are the bad ones. The days when you feel like crap, when you can hardly get out of bed. These are the days that really show you how far you have come in  your recovery, and give you the chance to grow even farther.

The bad days in recovery are so important. It is on the bad days that you are able to grow the most. These days take strength, they are not easy. You want to just lie in bed and not face the world. You want to give in to the loud voice of your eating disorder, and fall back into old habits that, for a few brief moments, would make you feel better. This isn’t what you have to do though. Even one the bad days, you get up, eat your meals, and go about your day as if the voices in your head aren’t screaming. You act like everything is okay. You fake it until you make it.

Every time you get through one of these bad days without giving in to your depression, eating disorder, or insecurities, you gain strength in yourself and your healthy voice. You give yourself another piece of knowledge to put in your pocket that you can make it through the bad times. It adds just a little bit to your confidence and the knowledge in your own competence in taking care of yourself.  

Each individual bad day does not seem like it gives you much. It is just a bad day and you have somehow gotten through it and hopefully tomorrow will be better. The thing is though, all the bad days you get through add up to a huge inventory of knowledge and competence in yourself. Eventually, you will have enough pieces in your pocket that you wont need to fight so hard to get through the bad days, they wont feel so bad anymore. Eventually, each bad day gets easier and easier, and fewer and farer between.

That is why it is so important to keep going, to not give up. Especially on the bad days. Every single day, no matter how you feel, keep taking those steps that you know you need to in order to enhance your recovery and weaken your eating disorder. Eat. Practice self-care. Surround yourself with those who love you. Don’t isolate yourself. Work and work and keep working. On the bad days, when it feels like you just want to give up, try to work a little harder. It will be worth it. The harder you work on this bad day, the easier the next one will be.

Keep going.

You can do it.

Thanks for reading.