Anything Other Than a Yes Means No

This is something that I feel like not many people, not even many girls, understand nowadays. When it comes to anything physical or sexual, the only thing that counts as consent is an explicit and enthusiastic yes. (This does also apply to many other things, but today I am focusing on this issue). No means no. I'm uncomfortable means no. pushing him or her away means no. Being too drunk to consent means no. literally, anything other than a yes, means no. I don't really get why this is so  hard for some people to understand. Its a simple three letter word, either you hear it or you don't.


The person you are trying to force yourself upon is a human being. They are their own, autonomous being, with thoughts and feelings and basic rights just like you. It's not, and never will be your place to overstep those and take away those rights, simply because you don't want to take no for an answer. They, just as you, or anyone else, deserve the right to have that one thing that is all their own. Your body is just yours. no one else's. You can give someone your body to enjoy if you want to, and if you are going to enjoy it too, but you are never, never under any obligation to do so. And no one has the right to force you.

Honestly, you don't owe  another person anything. I don't care if they bought you dinner, bought you flowers, told you that you are pretty, told you that they loved you, or even married you. you do not, and never will, owe them your body. Your body is a gift that you can freely give someone else if you so choose, it is never, no  matter what, something that anyone has the right to take or access without your permission. It doesn't matter why you want to say no, it doesn't matter if you even have a reason or not. 'I just don't feel like it' is perfectly justified and 100% acceptable. There is no circumstance where your reason isn't good enough that the other person has a right to disregard it.

What I need you to know, what I really need you to take away form this, is that it is never your fault. You did not let him or her do anything. You did not dress, drink, flirt, or do anything in such as way that would make that other person unable to help themselves. You will never be the guilty party. I know how easy it is to think that you are. That if you were only stronger, dressed more modestly, didn't accepted his or her generosity, wasn't so open and friendly, then you wouldn't have been asking for it, or he or she wouldn't have been expecting it. Then they wouldn't have wanted or needed to do it. Then they would have stopped. But I am here to tell you that is complete bullshit. There is never an instance where his or her actions can be justified.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, you didn't do anything. You did nothing, that other person did something to you. You did not do something with them, you did not let them do something, They did something to you. They took something that belonged to you, They stole from you. You had no part of it. Therefore, You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for.  That other person will always hold 100% of the blame.