Airport Reflections

Right now I am stuck in an airplane trying to get home to Orlando for Thanksgiving. The time is 4:11pm . My flight was supposed to go off at 3:20pm, but is now scheduled for 5:20. As annoying as this is, it does give me good time to reflect both on the past weeks, and the upcoming week.

            It was a hard decision making the choice to come all the way up to Boston for college. I had never been to Boston, had never seen the school, and did not know a single soul in the entire city. Yet somehow I just knew that this was where I needed to be. I knew that I could go to another school closer to home and have a great experience; I’m sure I would have been happy there and end up loving it. But that would have been the safe option. I would not have been forced to stretch myself, or face new terrifying experiences being in a city all alone and far from home. I would never have been able to grow in all the ways that I have been able to over these past three months. I can honestly say that retuning home now, I am not the same person who left three months ago. And I am so proud of that.

            These past three months have challenged me in so many ways. I have been forced out of my comfort zone to meet and connect with people, deal with people professionally in ways I never have, learn how to handle myself independently, And learn different ways of dealing and communicating with people, both in close relationships, living situations, and more strenuous relations. All of these things I never would have been able to do three months ago in the ways I can now.

            Thus far, college has given me a lot by way of my confidence and competence.  I am not afraid to go up to people and strike up conversation, connect to people, speak up for myself, and seek positions of leadership for which I honestly feel I am qualified. I have been able to enhance my own self-esteem, and my own assuredness in my abilities. I have been able to go six weeks or more without any eating disorder episodes, something I never would have dreamed of happening.

            Don’t get me wrong, my time up in Boston has not just been easy and smooth sailing. It has been really hard. I have had days and weeks of questioning myself, low-body image and self-esteem, doubt, and may other things. I have spent much time doubting the good things in my life, whether they are real or whether I deserve them. It has been a fight to get where I am right now. But I can honestly say that right now. I am so happy. And I feel so good. I am grateful for all of the amazing things in my life, and I recognize my part in putting them there and maintain them. I now am starting to see the great things I am capable of. It is a truly wonderful feeling.

            I’m sure the rest of college will not be easy. I will have many struggles and many good times. It will be an adventure and I journey. But now, I know that I can handle anything that comes my way. And I am so so excited for the rest of this crazy ride.

Thanks for reading.