Helping Others to Help Yourself

As human beings, often we are at the center of our own little universes. Our thoughts, feelings, and desires are so much at the forefront of our minds that it is hard to see past this into the thoughts and needs of others. This is especially true when you are struggling in some way, such as with a physical or mental illness. We are so caught up in our own problems, that they become the focal point and most important aspect of our lives. We brood and think constantly about everything that is wrong, and fail to see anything else. These thoughts become our whole lives, and there does not seem to be room for any good, or anything other than these problems.

It is for this reason that, especially when you are struggling, it is important to get outside yourself and to think about someone else. Helping other people forces you to find empathy for their struggles, gets you outside of your own mind, and puts your own hardships into perspective of the huge world we live in. In helping others, You are proving to yourself that your hardships are not your whole life, that there is so much more to you than what you are going through. You are strong, capable, and fundamentally good, no matter what you are dealing with.

Along with this, helping people who cannot repay you gives you a certain level of accomplishment that you cannot get otherwise. It makes you feel good about yourself, builds your self-esteem and confidence, and makes you feel more capable than you otherwise would. It can also help with feelings of selfishness that come with struggling; you need to ask for help, so at least you can help too. Helping other people is surprisingly therapeutic.

I’m not trying to make this sound easier than it is. When you are going through something like a mental or physical illness, getting outside of yourself is extremely hard. It goes against everything your body and mind seem to crave, which is solitude and pity. In the beginning, you are going to have to force yourself, and it is not going to be easy. You may have to go fighting yourself every step of the way. But I promise that it will get easier, and I promise you, it will be worth it.

This doesn’t have to be crazy either, especially at the beginning. I’m not saying that you have to go out and join the Peace Corps in order to feel better about yourself. Start small. Start manageable. Start with simple things that you can do without causing yourself too much anxiety.

Here are some examples of simple things that can go a long way:

·      Listen to someone

·      Hold the door open for someone

·      Make it a point to smile at people you pass on the street

·      Help someone carry their groceries

·      Compliment Someone

·      Pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line

·      Donate money to a cause you really care about

These are just some simple things. Once you gain confidence, try some others:

·      Join a group like Habitat for Humanity

·      Go to a soup kitchen

·      Mow an elderly neighbors lawn or shovel their snow

·      Join a volunteer group in your community

·      Donate your old things to charity

·      Write cards for soldiers

These things may seem scary and very out of your comfort zone now, but they are things that will help you to stop focusing on the things wrong in your life, and force you to step outside of yourself. They will help you see your own worth and that you can make a true difference in someone else’s life. Start these things now. Start small. I promise that it will make a difference.