An Open Letter to My New Body

Dear Body,

You are not as thin as you once were. You no longer have a gap between your thighs when your feet are together, and you no longer have a chest that could be mistaken for a pre-pubescent boy. You no longer have a stomach that concaves inward, or hipbones that poke out and signal your progress to the world. Where you used to be all straight lines and hard angles, now you are curves and soft edges.  No, you definitely are not as thin as you used to be.


You also aren't as fit as you used to be. Before, you had tight, flat abs, and now you are soft and round. You used to have no cellulite, and nowhere to squeeze, and now you have a little extra here and there. You used to exercise hours a day, and now you prefer to spend your time reading or wrighting or drinking tea. sometimes you think of it as laziness, other times self-care. Regardless though, you most certainly aren't as fit as you were.

No, you may not be as thin now, or as fit. There are so many things that you are instead. Now, you are soft. You are feminine. You are the body of a woman, not of a small frightened child. Your curves and your soft edges speak of your grace, and your growth, and your compassion for yourself. Your soft belly tells me that you value a delicious meal, and aren't afraid to skip the gym to make amazing memories, or even just because you know it is not what you need.

You aren't as thin as you used to be. Instead, you are alive with the knowledge of everything you will someday accomplish that you never would have been able to before. These new curves and edges will give you the ability to bring life into this world, to create a little you who will change your life in so many amazing ways. These new pounds will help you to inspire others, to have the energy to move, to speak, to change the world in all the ways you want to. That thin, sick body would never have allowed you to live in all ways you dream of, to inspire all the people that you someday will, or to truly live the life you've imagined. That small sick body could never hold your amazing and beautiful soul.

Body, accepting you as you are now is sometimes really hard. So often I find myself overlooking all of the facts, and all of the knowledge I have of how horrible, and sick, and ugly that old body was. So often I crave to go back there, at the expense of anything, my health, my future, my sanity, or my beauty. But Body, when I really stop to think about it, I know that this body, The body you are now, is the one that I want, and the one that I need.  You will are so beautiful, and so strong, and you have put up with all the crap I have put you through. You are going to help me become the woman I have always wanted to be. No matter how many times I fight against you, you are still here, reminding me of what I really need.

Thank you Body, for being you.

Delaney